In reality this is pretty much what happened
I was so freaking annoyed with myself. Somehow stayed wheat free during the binge so still had an element of control I guess but man I was upset afterwards. Sometimes I don't understand why I do it. Some binges do make me feel good but last night I was so conflicted even when it was happening. :-/
Then I came across this:
For me it's not always like this. I don't always feel guilty but really at the end of the day a little while afterwards you don't feel good. Even if there is no emotional trauma from it, the whole process is hard on your body. When you actually logically think about it, it's disgusting. That's why on Easter Sunday I promised it wouldn't happen again. Clearly that failed but how I'm feeling right now is exactly why it has to stop.
I woke up this morning feeling sick and will be going to bed tonight with stomach pains all because I felt crappy emotionally last night. There is no logic to inflicting all this physical discomfort on yourself for the 10mins of feeling really good after a binge. Last night, to be honest, I never even got that because I went too far and felt sick almost straight away. Generally all round a bad night and something that I have to stop repeating.
I completley get where you are coming from here! I always feel rubbish after a binge and often sick! I wish i could work out what it is that makes me do it!
ReplyDeleteIs it bad that I'm jealous of you for throwing up post-binge?! Sometimes I feel sick but no matter how much I eat or how much water I gulp down afterwards I'm never sick.
ReplyDeleteI don't always feel bad afterwards (thankfully) but it can be pretty frustrating.... :(
sorry.. must have wrote that wrong.. I mean sick feeling.. Im never physically sick..
ReplyDeleteI guess i just have a really unhealthy relationship with food! I want to get healthy so I dont feel like i have to keep eating rubbish food in excess!x